TKO

I'm a part of a leadership training course at my church/community and man, did I ever get a major gut check last night.  I mean, it was straight to the heart type of class last night.  It felt as though at one point I was in the room by myself and our teacher was speaking directly to me. Smh...... I felt that knot start to well up in my throat, my heart was like Nascar and my gut was doing Jet Lee stunts all at once.  Tears were on the verge of flowing down the well trodden path.  So you're wondering what was it that brought me to this place?  Well, let's just say that my/our concept of leadership in humanity is all jacked up!  We have this idea to look for people with natural leadership qualities and make them head's of businesses, corporations, organizations, institutions, groups, schools and even churches.  We think that they are the ones who have the ability to lead us best to whatever our endeavor is.  I mean, I thought so to.  I always thought about whatever job I got to move up the ladder.  I knew I could lead, that I was more than capable of bringing in results, making things happen and honestly, being in charge.  This was always a motive of mine no matter where I worked.  Gain management experience and continue to move up from there.

Well last night I got a very rude awakening.  One that almost knocked me out!  We read Phil. 2:3-11 which talks about the attitude of Christ.  Honestly, I've read this passage before.  I understood that we should think about others more than ourselves - the 'Humility' factor and that we should act like Jesus.  But what I wasn't ready for was the depth of character and attitude that Paul was asking us to be.  The real, true epitome of Christ!  To know that Jesus is all man and all God was something I understood but to really understand why He did what He did was and is revolutionary.  To read that Christ became a servant and not just any servant but in translation a servant really meaning a slave.(Look it up in the Greek if you don't believe me)  He became a slave, not to man but to His father and all the implications that it implies blew my mind.  I mean why, how, really??????  That's too deep for me.  I felt like I was drowning for a moment trying to get my footing, forgetting that I was way too off shore to touch the ground.  So I remembered, lay back and float.  I had to and I still am.  

This concept, this notion; the reality of Jesus becoming a slave to His father in order to do His bidding is really what this was about.  Yet Jesus was the epitome of what true leadership is!  Let that sink in for a minute.... I know I had to.  This passage was telling me what a true servant looks like... a slave to the Father.  Already, for those who are black, like myself, here in America or just about anywhere in the western hemisphere, this doesn't sit well.  We understood what slavery did and what it meant.  No rights, no choice & above all no FREEDOM!  This was and still is a hard pill to swallow.  To know that Jesus is asking us to become slaves is hard.  We naturally want to fight, rebel, run away and say 'Heck naw!' to that sort of idea and look at the person like the audacity and gall they have to even ask you such a thing.  It hurts, it's deep and partially humiliating.  But to Jesus it is the very thing that He did being all God and all man to serve His Father.

So then what does this have to do with what I first stated about the types of leaders we initially look for, well it has everything to do with it.  We look for the wrong things and for the wrong motives.  I did.  I wanted to be a leader because it was what I thought I should do.  It came naturally.  What I didn't understand was that a true leader needs to become a slave to the Father and serve whomever they are leading and think of them 1st and foremost.  To the point where you rarely think of yourself.  It's called serving.  Serving without motive other than to please your Father, God.  That's what I didn't understand.  Jesus looks for servants first whom can be shaped into leaders.  And for those of use with leadership qualities, it's a bit harder because we have to learn to serve 1st before leading.  It seems to go against our very nature but in reality this is what Jesus wants.  See I had it all backwards, which most of us do.  Really, the world does.  We want leaders who will serve but not understanding that having that mindset is what leads to acting like a demagogue.  It is always about yourself and what you can get from it.  It is about personal gain in some form or fashion.  It's not pure service.  There's always some reward of personal agenda behind this thinking.  It's not Jesus oriented... it lacks humility.  It's vanity in its most secretive and poisonous form.  

This was me!!!  This was my thinking... I didn't want to move up the corporate structure to serve others, I did it because I wanted it for myself.  I wanted to be successful and knew I could to.  I wanted for someone to pat me on my back.  I didn't purely do this to serve others.  I was making it a personal vanity.  I definitely wasn't exhibiting humility.  Phil. 2 called me out, plain and simple and it hurt!  With every truth that was being presented about true leadership, I hurt more. My heart sank, the pangs became that much more real, my spirit writhed within me, my soul couldn't justify itself anymore and began to withdraw itself.  It was too much, it was real, it was truth... unadulterated absolute truth.  I was on the verge of becoming a demagogue.  Oh, the mentality of it all.  It couldn't be more real than that.  I wanted to break down and cry... 'God forgive me... I am so selfish and wretched.  I don't deserve to be a leader.'  This is a hard truth to swallow.  Then for Jesus to say in Luke 22, when the disciples started fussing about who the greatest was, that this is how the gentiles act but not so for you.  He shut down their arguments.  He stopped the lies and the continuation of a fallacy that had lived for so long.  This was something they were used to, becoming a leader and bossing people around in its simplicity.  Having a personal agenda covering it up in the name of God and thinking it was ok.  Nope! Not to Jesus.  This was the very thinking that He did not want us to follow.  Jesus plainly stated that in order to be great you MUST serve.  There was no room for error here.  Just as He came and served yet is still the greatest leader there ever was, so we must do the same.  Remember serving meant taking the place of a slave but in order to please God.

This is why last night my concept of leadership totally got knocked out like a Tyson fight.  I started to really understand that to lead, I must serve but my Father.  It comes through taking care of those He tells me to.  The hungry, the orphan, the widows, even more plainly those whom you probably don't think twice about.  Your friends, your family, that annoying co-worker.  Yea, true humility.  Doing things without a personal agenda.  I know for all of us natural leaders this is not an easy task but the great thing is that it's not impossible either.  We have the choice to choose humility and become a servant to others.  God doesn't shove this down our throat.  We can learn how to serve with pure motives, please God.  Nothing more, nothing less.  So today and really for the rest of my life I pray, 'God make me a servant', because that knock out makes it worth it all.