Core

How do you love the unlovable?  That's the question that has been on my mind for quite some time now.  Honestly and truly how do you because the more and more I look around, the harder it is for me to really be selfless and mean it when I say "I love you", though knowing as those words roll of my lips in the moments I do mean it that instantly I am being shunned, negated, and overlooked.  Better yet, not even considered. 

 

In the wake of everything that has been going on I truly, desire to know how do you love the unlovable.  When you, like me, work a job where you see nothing but disrespect and feel the weight of the black race on your shoulders because to those around you, you are the closest and realest representation of the black nation to them.  How do I reach out and still love them?  How do I love those who say in the midst of such tragedy, what does this matter?  Things like this happen all the time.  What's so different about this?  How do I look them square in the face and still love them?  Or when you see the depths that white privilege has prevailed and still prevails in our everyday lives.  Whether it be, the elitism of a couple who deserves to live as they do, or children who are able to walk out to their back yard onto a lake a kayak because they feel like it, or when a promotion is passed onto someone white, whom you trained and technically still train from day to day because they know someone in upper management though you've been there for 5yrs and have seniority over them.  Tell me how do love them?

 

I'm asking all of this because this is a question that I have been wrestling with for a while now and it doesn't help that our nation has told blacks once again, you don't matter and most of all that you really have no value, no matter what age or circumstance may have occurred.  Nope, "You Don't Matter!!!"  This is what we have to face in this country, loud and clear.  See I could go back and start spouting what accomplishments blacks have had in this country.  The many ways blacks have contributed to make this country to making it into what it is today.  The many walls and barriers that blacks have had to overcome to be deemed as equals in written law.  Even the fact that America for its first time in history had a major monumental moment for electing its first ever black president, now two terms in.  Yes, I can sit here and go further and deeper and retrace steps but all of that pales in comparison to the reality of how America views her black children; unwanted, overlooked, and worthless.  Basically unvalued!  This was stated loud and clear to her babies. 

 

Blacks now in the modern age have become worst off then illegitimate children, no blacks are now late term abortions.  Good enough to create celebration for the sake of life, provide the mother with a feeling of longing and joy, bring others to celebrate the mother and her accomplishments, get lavished with promises and gifts just waiting, how the child brings wealth and status, have the mother feel a sense of euphoria at what is to be expected, even enjoy the small kicking she feels inside but when the reality hits of her life changing forever, the morning sickness because truth is creating and sustaining life isn't easy, having the child press on her bladder in her mind at the most inopportune times, showing her the truth of herself and that pregnancy also makes you dependent, that the child is going to cost money to raise, and that you have to rethink your priorities and stances, then it's too much.  The kicking that once was cute hurts, her backbone on which everything stands upon is sore and even laying down is uncomfortable, her pelvis spreading and shifting makes even the simplicity of walking a chore, the stretching and itching that comes along from this child growing now it's a problem and just like that America decides, this child is too much of a problem, a burden, and will change my lifestyle wants a late term abortion.  America calls the ever delinquent father named Justice and says I don't want this child anymore.  Though they may fuss and seemingly fight, in the end she wins and he gives in to her and it works out best for the both of them.  She got her gifts, wealth, and lifestyle, praises and even the I understand from her friends because it would just be too much.  "You're not in the place you need to be to support a black child, think of the cost and struggle you will have to do through" while the absent father, Justice, agreed and said he didn't have the means to support his black child and made the easy decision so that he wouldn't have to pay child support.  He chose this even though he showed his child off, boast about his mini me and what he said he would do and how he would always be there to protect, uphold, and pass down the values of his parents.  Tell me then, how do you love the unlovable?

 

 

 

 

Bundled

So it has definitely been awhile since I last posted anything.  I was in the middle of writing a piece on the Trayvon Martin case and paused and since then have not picked it back up to continue.  A lot has happened in this nation in the past few months and more and more stories have been coming to the forefront concerning race relations.  In different arenas, socioeconomic brackets, and every day living.  I feel as though the Trayvon Martin case opened up a can or worms that has been slowly festering and rotting underneath the hot sun and then slipped into a secret pantry for no one to find but unfortunately for the owner, the ugly truth has revealed itself for what it is... plain ugly and still here.

 

My friends and I have been really digging into what it means to be black in America.  Now this is in itself a loaded question because there are so many takes to what that means and it's easy to become jaded, cynical, and hard hearted to what this means.  In looking at this topic alone you can take it from so many angles, you can look at it from the perspective of music and where the industry is, you can use entertainment and see what has happened there, you can speak from terms of education or lack there of, and you can speak from sectors concerning business, job seeking, to welfare, or even from the stance of being a man versus being a woman.  In the end, there is no one angle to see black life in America and that is where the problem lies as well as the answer is found. 

 

In our deep engaging conversations, we as black women have been racking our brains discussing what happened to the black family, why is it that we are still dealing with an overwhelming sense of racism even in its undercurrents, why race is so different in the north than in the south versus Midwest to west, why our are children not being taught and on and on and on it goes.  And in discussing picking each others brains and challenging one another on our different premises and understanding, an epiphany happened.  We finally understood concerning race relations, the state of Black America, and all that has, was, and is taking place CANNOT be categorized into one bundle.  That is what has happened to us.  We blacks have been bundled together as a group and in that we have been generalized and stereotyped to the point that TV execs have created a formula on how to sell "black life" to the masses and make money off of it, yet in reality there may be some minutia of truth but the majority of what we are fed is not "BLACK LIFE"! 

 

We as blacks have to also accept our responsibility and understand that we have given into the notion of what slavery, colonialism, and the so called American dream has fed us.  That we are not good enough to be known individually or separately because of our ethnic backgrounds.  That black is just that black.  We have  been force fed the lies of Willie Lynch  but have yet to really understand that all this is a lie and not who we are.  I know I am going to catch flack for saying that and I understand that it sounds like I am teaching separatism but the reality is I believe we each as "black people" with our unique and beautiful cultures should have a right to stand up for each of our cultures and backgrounds.  That we should not be blanketed into a general group just because of our skin tone.  In doing so, I feel as though this nation is missing out on a beautiful kaleidoscope that is "Black America". 

 

When we do this we are inevitably saying that who you are and where you come from and whatever rich history you have means nothing.  We've relegated ourselves to just being the same.  My girlfriend explained it best, "...we live in a society where conformity is normal.  And whoever doesn't conform is abnormal.  We want to just be "normal" like everybody else... but that is crazy talk.  Nobody is normal..."  In essence we are not normal and one step further nor are we the same and honestly that is a beautiful thing.  Why should we conform, why should we be normal?  What's the beauty in not acknowledging the very thing that makes you, you and culturally for blacks that's what we have been taught because when you conform you are easily controlled and manipulated.  And we have seen the effects of this for years. 

 

I don't know about you but I love learning about my Haitian friends and their culture and the nuances of how they grew up.  I love learning about my Afro-latinos who look as black as me but speak Spanish fluently, which makes me do a double take and how they enjoy their rich history.  I love learning about my Zimbabwean friend and what it was like growing up in the southern region of Africa and how there is an abundance of land just waiting to be cultivated.  And even too really digging into my African American friend who's family is from the Midwest and the deep south and how that creates such a unique culture; whose family grew up in the midst of segregation and the Jim Crow laws and the steel mill boom.  All of these facets and beautiful stories of rich history get lost when we decide that we are just black.

 

My desire is for everyone's story to be told, for the Trayvon Martin's to be vindicated and not stereotyped just because he was black.  For black life to be valued because it is a life period.  I want to see the cultural differences between Cameroonians and Ethiopians, Haitians and Afro-latinos, Northern and Midwestern Black Americans.  It's when we are able to see our differences that then and only then are we able to really unite and become one.  Yes, there are going to be certain things that cross culturally no matter who you are living black in America but there is so much diversity, knowledge, beauty, and healing waiting to distributed only if we stop insisting that there is something wrong with having a different background and just saying we are all black.  We then fall into the same sin as saying, "I'm colorblind, I don't see color."  The reality is here in America, you WILL always see color, that has been ingrained into the very foundation of this country.  Just read the original constitution of this land if you don't believe me.  The truth is and hear me directly with no mistakes, There is Nothing Wrong With Color!!!  It is what makes us unique and it creates such a beautiful canvas, a mosaic that makes you take time to see the whole picture but look at each magnificent piece and stand in awe of God and His beautiful majesty.

 

The state of Black America is simple, we each individually and culturally want to be seen, understood, and valued and honestly there is nothing wrong with that.  Jesus sees each of us and honors us each in who we are and we are all beautifully different.  Black America it's time we embrace this and use this to really make our voices heard as well as unite under the banner of Jesus's love.

 

9 After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. 10 And they were shouting with a great roar, “Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb!”  Rev. 9:9,10

 

We have to see we are different to see we are one.