Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Core


How do you love the unlovable?  That's the question that has been on my mind for quite some time now.  Honestly and truly how do you because the more and more I look around, the harder it is for me to really be selfless and mean it when I say "I love you", though knowing as those words roll of my lips in the moments I do mean it that instantly I am being shunned, negated, and overlooked.  Better yet, not even considered. 
 
In the wake of everything that has been going on I truly, desire to know how do you love the unlovable.  When you, like me, work a job where you see nothing but disrespect and feel the weight of the black race on your shoulders because to those around you, you are the closest and realest representation of the black nation to them.  How do I reach out and still love them?  How do I love those who say in the midst of such tragedy, what does this matter?  Things like this happen all the time.  What's so different about this?  How do I look them square in the face and still love them?  Or when you see the depths that white privilege has prevailed and still prevails in our everyday lives.  Whether it be, the elitism of a couple who deserves to live as they do, or children who are able to walk out to their back yard onto a lake a kayak because they feel like it, or when a promotion is passed onto someone white, whom you trained and technically still train from day to day because they know someone in upper management though you've been there for 5yrs and have seniority over them.  Tell me how do love them?
 
I'm asking all of this because this is a question that I have been wrestling with for a while now and it doesn't help that our nation has told blacks once again, you don't matter and most of all that you really have no value, no matter what age or circumstance may have occurred.  Nope, "You Don't Matter!!!"  This is what we have to face in this country, loud and clear.  See I could go back and start spouting what accomplishments blacks have had in this country.  The many ways blacks have contributed to make this country to making it into what it is today.  The many walls and barriers that blacks have had to overcome to be deemed as equals in written law.  Even the fact that America for its first time in history had a major monumental moment for electing its first ever black president, now two terms in.  Yes, I can sit here and go further and deeper and retrace steps but all of that pales in comparison to the reality of how America views her black children; unwanted, overlooked, and worthless.  Basically unvalued!  This was stated loud and clear to her babies. 
 
Blacks now in the modern age have become worst off then illegitimate children, no blacks are now late term abortions.  Good enough to create celebration for the sake of life, provide the mother with a feeling of longing and joy, bring others to celebrate the mother and her accomplishments, get lavished with promises and gifts just waiting, how the child brings wealth and status, have the mother feel a sense of euphoria at what is to be expected, even enjoy the small kicking she feels inside but when the reality hits of her life changing forever, the morning sickness because truth is creating and sustaining life isn't easy, having the child press on her bladder in her mind at the most inopportune times, showing her the truth of herself and that pregnancy also makes you dependent, that the child is going to cost money to raise, and that you have to rethink your priorities and stances, then it's too much.  The kicking that once was cute hurts, her backbone on which everything stands upon is sore and even laying down is uncomfortable, her pelvis spreading and shifting makes even the simplicity of walking a chore, the stretching and itching that comes along from this child growing now it's a problem and just like that America decides, this child is too much of a problem, a burden, and will change my lifestyle wants a late term abortion.  America calls the ever delinquent father named Justice and says I don't want this child anymore.  Though they may fuss and seemingly fight, in the end she wins and he gives in to her and it works out best for the both of them.  She got her gifts, wealth, and lifestyle, praises and even the I understand from her friends because it would just be too much.  "You're not in the place you need to be to support a black child, think of the cost and struggle you will have to do through" while the absent father, Justice, agreed and said he didn't have the means to support his black child and made the easy decision so that he wouldn't have to pay child support.  He chose this even though he showed his child off, boast about his mini me and what he said he would do and how he would always be there to protect, uphold, and pass down the values of his parents.  Tell me then, how do you love the unlovable?